That was the subject of the email from Marissa day before yesterday (by the time this posts). This was not the look on her face as she typed it to me, stating the obvious but it hadn't dawned on me until she pointed it out...heart broken. Saying I was sorry over an email was certainly not even a start but I did it anyways. Can you believe that even though I have blogged about me having 3 kids, she pointed out I didn't blog about her, only 1 photo of when she was 2...that's it, no way!. I honestly don't wish the pain I felt on anybody & it was super hard to swallow when I was finished reading the email, repeating "No, No" with every word I read. The whole time I've had this blog, I have struggled with the idea of not adding my personal life at all, but I tend to always go back to just who I am & continue posting about birthdays, cheers, tears, loves & my own personal photography struggles but never did I purposely neglect putting Marissa on here. I always told her I wanted photos of her but never pushed for her to sit in front of the camera. Hey, I wouldn't like it...& I'm much older, it's really not where I want to be, that's why I became the photographer. None the less, there's no excuse for it & she's the one in pain.
I'll tell you what, I feel like a completely horrible mother, forget horrible photographer...it goes deeper than that, all the way down to the mother bone (it's the beating one). Completely done on accident but so ashamed of myself in the end. I need to be careful with how I set my example to them & not forget the most important people in my life, no matter how busy I get or how bad I think I took a photo, it's not about that & that's why I'm so sorry.
So to my daughter Marissa, that I sincerely unintentionally hurt, I'm so so incredibly sorry. I will be better as a mom (which in turn will make me a better person, then photographer) & not get so busy. I need be there for you even if it includes pestering you for a photo. I am so proud to be your mom & that you're my daughter. Have I ever told you how I cried for the first time when I said I had a daughter. That feeling is still there, I just have to help it to age along with my baby girl growing up. I love you Marissa, more than the stars in the sky or characters in those hard to pronounce card games lol. That never changes.
PS We really need to get some photos, maybe even buy a new outfit for the occasion. Maybe you can take some of me...maybe, maybe I need a new outfit lol. I LOVE YOU MARISSA!!
That was the subject of the email from Marissa day before yesterday (by the time this posts). This was not the look on her face as she typed it to me, stating the obvious but it hadn't dawned on me until she pointed it out...heart broken. Saying I was sorry over an email was certainly not even a start but I did it anyways. Can you believe that even though I have blogged about me having 3 kids, she pointed out I didn't blog about her, only 1 photo of when she was 2...that's it, no way!. I honestly don't wish the pain I felt on anybody & it was super hard to swallow when I was finished reading the email, repeating "No, No" with every word I read. The whole time I've had this blog, I have struggled with the idea of not adding my personal life at all, but I tend to always go back to just who I am & continue posting about birthdays, cheers, tears, loves & my own personal photography struggles but never did I purposely neglect putting Marissa on here. I always told her I wanted photos of her but never pushed for her to sit in front of the camera. Hey, I wouldn't like it...& I'm much older, it's really not where I want to be, that's why I became the photographer. None the less, there's no excuse for it & she's the one in pain.
I'll tell you what, I feel like a completely horrible mother, forget horrible photographer...it goes deeper than that, all the way down to the mother bone (it's the beating one). Completely done on accident but so ashamed of myself in the end. I need to be careful with how I set my example to them & not forget the most important people in my life, no matter how busy I get or how bad I think I took a photo, it's not about that & that's why I'm so sorry.
So to my daughter Marissa, that I sincerely unintentionally hurt, I'm so so incredibly sorry. I will be better as a mom (which in turn will make me a better person, then photographer) & not get so busy. I need be there for you even if it includes pestering you for a photo. I am so proud to be your mom & that you're my daughter. Have I ever told you how I cried for the first time when I said I had a daughter. That feeling is still there, I just have to help it to age along with my baby girl growing up. I love you Marissa, more than the stars in the sky or characters in those hard to pronounce card games lol. That never changes.
PS We really need to get some photos, maybe even buy a new outfit for the occasion. Maybe you can take some of me...maybe, maybe I need a new outfit lol. I LOVE YOU MARISSA!!
No comments:
Post a Comment