Laben & Amanda wedding slide show (Ok, Ok I know)

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Wedding of Laben & Amanda

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My beautiful children

I don't post my kids very often because honestly...they don't let me take their pics very often. Well, I wanted new photos of them the other day & I wasn't going to take no for an answer "Because I'm your mother & I said so, that's why" lol. Of course I'm missing Richie but I'm grateful for getting these, I wasn't going to push it with a 22 year old, lol. I think taking photos of your own children is one of the hardest thing to do, you know their personalities & they know how to push your buttons. Don't we just love our kids :) I thought these turned out pretty good though, considering they're mine, lol.

Marissa starts her senior year of High School this coming Fall & it's hard for me to fathom her growing up. Richie wasn't hard for me because he's a boy, boys seem stronger to me, honestly they do but girls can be so trusting & vulnerable. I hope that doesn't sound sexist, it's just a reality when you have a daughter, I think (I hope). I remember snapping photos of her when she was a toddler, running around grandmas house wearing her dads socks up to her thighs, her grandmas underpants up to her chest (yes when gma did the laundry, she had put a clean pair on, so funny) while pushing the kitten around the house in her baby buggie. Each time the kitten would jump out, she would grab & flop him back in the buggie. He got tired of trying after a while & just started swatting things with his paw as he went by them, so flipping funny. Maybe you had to be there. Anyways, to think she might be gone out on her own makes me incredibly sad but I'll save that sob story for another time. My favorite photo out of these, is the one below. Marissa a very happy, patient, giving young woman & she just looks so incredibly pretty in that photo, it almost makes me cry.

Oh my goodness, my Matt, he has his great grandmas eyes (which he inherited from his grandpa). Just before he turned 1, we took him to go see her & she was so proud he had her eyes, she kept saying it the entire visit. She passed years ago & of course he doesn't remember that but it stands out in my mind everytime I see those beautiful blue sparklers, especially in a photograph. Unfortunately I can't get him to smile much though due to him needing braces but I love to see his smile. I took some photos with his wonderful happiness but decided not to post them so he's happy. I don't see my kids as having flaws but totally respect boundaries when it comes to something someone is not comfortable displaying (but definitely worth taking & keeping).

He loves basketball & loves to talk smack about kicking my butt at HORSE. He didn't know what to think when I won the first game & the first game really is all we need to talk about right now, lol. When Matt was a toddler, he would run around grandmas house with her collander on his head, it had 3 little legs curling out from the bottom of the strainer. He kinda looked like Johnny Appleseed (gosh, I can't believe I remember that guy & admitting it, that'll give a girls age away pretty quick, lol). I'll have to scan & post those photos so you know I'm not kidding. Funny memories!

Gosh I love my wonderful kids, we were supposed to take more photos the following day but time escaped us, it flew by quickly & got dark in no time. I want some of me with them but it will have to wait for another day, soon. I promise to post some of those no matter how I think they turned out cause photos with them, are more for them than they are for me. I don't like being on that side of the camera but they deserve having memories of me too & I'm ok with that....sorta. Take care everybody & have a great day!

I think I need a hearing aid

You know it's time to get a hearing aid, when someone gives you a compliment & it's not what you think you heard, not even close.

Jon & I were sitting on the porch the other night enjoying the cool evening when he responded to me sharing my lack in confidence with my photography in general. Telling me that I "continue to grow with my photography each day, I have a unique eye, that people love my pictures, I'm not the only photographer that goes through a time with lack of confidence & that I'm like a rock that keeps getting shinier & shinier everyday". I thought about it for a second then thought how sweet, I'm like an agate (FYI, it's a clear ocean rock you can see through. See how I focus on the only thing that wasn't positive in what he said, it was an object that caught my attention. Why do I do that?). Most importantly, how did he know that's exactly how I felt. An agate is what I visualized when I heard him say rock, cause I'm not just any ole' rock, ya know, I'm shiny :). The reason he used a rock wasn't anything I was going to dismiss cause hey, men are from Mars. They love to blow things up & act like a silver back gorilla at times, so who am I to argue with his compliment. Men make about as much sense to women, as women do to men, Right?

However, that's not what he said, he said diamond, What?!! A diamond?! Not sure why I heard rock, doesn't even sound close, but that's a big clue I need a hearing aid. He laughed at me & said he would never "compare me to a rock",...like it was a bad thing! Agates are hard to find in the sand, dang it. I'm not sure if a diamond sounded as good, lol. No mater what he said, I loved the compliment, as always. It was the thought that counts & another one of those little things he says that makes me love him so much. So now I need a hearing aid & reading glasses since turning 40, what's next?....Wait, maybe I shouldn't ask, I should just be happy being a shiny rock,...I, I, I mean a diamond.

Honestly he wouldn't have been far off though, I feel like a rock in the middle of the ocean sometimes. So many "photographers" out there with a multitude of styles & personalities trying to get out there & make careers of it. I know I will never know everything about photography, it's a huge industry. For me, it's about learning & growing everyday, not about being the latest & greatest, the Best! of the Best! If you knew me, you would know I don't like that kind of attention, always being in the lime light, that's not for me & that's ok, I know I'm not the only one. If I can always remember that & continue to do my best, to learn, & grow in confidence, that's all I can ask for. I also get a huge pleasure out of helping others find their photography passion, encouraging them to surround themselves with positive people, to always learn more, leading them to resources to help them grow, to keep doing what makes them happy, & not give up. Of course I don't take my own advice about the confidence part & I never pretend to know it all. I'd be the first one to tell you that & I'm probably not the one to ask about post processing how to's either, I'm still learning but I never give up. I'm always willing to help in anyway I can, even if it's directing other self-taught photographers to websites they can learn from. Besides, no photographer should claim to know everything, cause I guarantee you, they didn't start off doing it all the right way either. The point here is not repeating your mistakes but growing from them. I am personally drawn to those that I consider to be the "greats" & the "getting betters" that share how they improved their craft, giving inspiration & encouragement to others, how wonderful it is to find a friend instead of a competitor. I still have to find my confidence mojo around other photographers (I'm not afraid to say I'm shy, some people might mistaken for rudeness), so yesterday I signed up with a local photo club. It'll be good to get out there with people that love photography as much as I do but I feel so old starting out this late in life. It's like going to a new high school to me, wearing big frumpy clothes to hide & disappear in the shadows, in my own avoid-a-group-at-all-costs kinda way but I have my own demons to fight & need to just get out there & do it, so I did. Another thing I've just started today is a 365 project. The weekly one didn't work for me, I got a little slacked, then dropped it all together. I'm the kinda person that needs inspiration to pick up the camera everyday & that's ok, whatever works. It's a late start in the year but it's better than never starting it at all.

P.S. The attempt for the Anderson fireworks didn't work July 3rd. The great view I'm always bragging about, looked more like a child holding a sparkler 10' away, not even worth the attempt in my eyes. It probably wouldn't even show up on the screen, especially after focusing around the gauntlet of trees, lol, but sadly no kidding. Whadaya gonna do, sometimes you just have to laugh. Next year I want to get closer for a way better chance, besides, they were at 10pm, OMG I was so tired. By the time they started, I was ready for bed. We watched for only 10 mins, but at least I know photographing from here is not in the works at all & Jon told me, he didn't see the Redding fireworks at all from the property last year. Well, there went that idea, should have got that out of him sooner. Oh well, I have more time to plan for next years opportunities :)

Happy Birthday America

I hope to get some photos from our property of the fireworks this year, even though we have lots of digger pine that might block the view & we live out of town, it's not going to stop me from trying. I'm usually too tired to stay up, I know, I know... most fireworks usually start @ 9:00-10pm but lately I just can't keep my eyes open past 8:30-9pm (yes I'm a fuddy duddy) unless I'm photographing a wedding or one of my fav shows, Law & Order, comes on. I will sit on the couch in a comatose state to watch that show, no kidding & I've done it many times. Love how that show makes me think & pay attention to what's going on. Maybe it's the Columbo-wanna-be inside of me but I love shows that make you think & this one is the best by far. Anyways,...I know the chances of us getting any photos, especially any good one's, is far fetched (due to the distance I'm shooting at) but if I'm awake (and that's the plan Stan), I'm gonna give it a try. I've been reading some tips online (www.digital-photography-school.com/tips) & really want to see if I can do this, it's my first time trying, so wish me luck. I hope everyone has a happy, safe & relaxing holiday. Sugar (photo above) has started her holiday weekend a little early.

My morning cup of love

I love, love , L-O-V-E coffee in the morning. The kind made at home (actually Jon makes for me), is better than I could ever buy with yummy hazelnut creamer (or any other coffee mate), but a white chocolate latte, grande with 1 shot, extra sweet & yes on the whipped cream please, coffee from Starbucks coffee is a close second. I think the love of coffee in the morning comes from the person making it for me, taking the time to comfort my need & to also keep me in a good morning mood. I'm happiest in the morning, so I'm usually at least 1/2 way smiling, dragging my feet from bed around 5-5:30am every morning, except for the few days I sleep until 6am & the even fewer (maybe twice a year) I sleep until 7am but in general, I'm usually smiling 1/2 way until the rest of my face (the side I slept on last) wakes up to that wonderful cup of love. Coffee served to me by my honey in the morning is like a big hug from the one I love & it always tastes better than when I make it myself. It's like chicken noodle soup that someone brings you when you're sick (or just the thought of it at least).

I've been without my cup of love the last couple of days & really miss the morning routine with a vengeance, so bad I'm getting those headaches you sometimes get with caffeine withdrawals. I've been drinking coffee for about 10 years now, only stopping probably two summers all together. Going without usually doesn't last long & I give into what I love so much. Has it made me crankier going without?, maybe a little but I'm still a morning person so Jon has that going for him, he needs all the help he can get sometimes, lol. Will I start my coffee kick back up again before the summer is over?.....Yep, most likely but it feels good to think I have a little will power for at least a couple of days.

So, if you're out there somewhere enjoying a cup of love, I'm jealous but will be joining you in no time I'm sure. But for now, it'll be just water for me & I'll still love my mornings.