This is me when I was 20 holding Richie (which he is now almost 21 years of age).
My Santa this year was thinking from the heart & gave me the coolest gift ever (I think I say that every year)...a negative scanner, it converts your film negatives into digital files so they can be saved on your computer. I sat down & started using it this last weekend & enjoyed seeing some blasts from my past. LSS, we had a minor flood in our laundry room (where I was storing my priceless box of negatives) during this last single digit temp freeze & some old negatives from mine & my childrens childhood, were damaged. The negatives are colored funky due to the water & have some splotchy spots but you can see the image, which is most important. So, as I was scanning the photos, I had realized how much my kids have grown & how I didn't do so bad catching them in moments that I can embarrass them in for the many years to come (insert evil laugh here). When your child does something, you think you will remember it forever but as I viewed these photographs, I realized how much I forgot...The look on Richie's face knowing he's too old to sit on Santa's lap but doing it for the sake of his little sister. Marissa being potty trained & falling asleep in the process. How young I looked when Richie was a toddler & how Matthew loved his own reflection (but didn't know it was him, he was kissing the "other" baby). I realized how much I needed to be in the photos for my kids, to have memories of me being there too. For just over the last 2 years, (since finding my happiness) I have realized how important I am to others & not just taking up space in their lives. A New Years Resolution isn't always how much a persons appearance can be altered but how their soul can be transformed. I am going to take more pics of me, so when I look back 10 years (or if it's my children viewing them), I don't see myself as I AM, but as I WAS & time goes by so fast so there's no telling what the next 10 years holds for me. Having my pic taken isn't easy for me, it's totally out of my comfort zone but isn't that what a new beginning is supposed to be about. This is one of mine. I will post more pics when I'm finished scanning. Over 20 years in negatives is a lot to scan & at times I can't stop crying or laughing (or both) at the memories & what they hold for me & my heart. Wow, what an awesome gift honey.
I can say this gift is how IT "made me feel", & how Jon makes me feel. Thank you Jon. Thank you for always showing how much you care about my happiness. I love you more than you will ever know (but I think you have an idea).